Star Quality



Gyles Brandreth


Beverly (no surname was given)


Chatsworth Television/Phi Television for HTV West, 1989


Quite the worst game show ever made. There were 6 episodes.

Star Quality was a quiz about showbiz plus a talent show, in which players move around a board at the throw of the dice. If they landed on a question square, they answered one of Gyles' questions. If they landed on an 'Audition' square, they would perform a musical/dramatic piece to the audience for 60 seconds. After that the jury of 11 (why 11??!) would mark them out of 10. These numbers would be added up by Beverly (the very large assistant) and converted into lights on the board by dividing their score by 11 on a calculator and rounding it up (???).

At the end of the show, the winner was the one with the most lights. BUT there was an extra winner after this! Each contestant had 24 seconds to perform a piece to camera and the jury would vote on the overall winner.

The most complicated, hilariously bad show ever made!


Star Quality was the main inspiration for the Music based episode from the second series of educational television spoof comedy Look Around You. Co-creator Robert Popper later assessed Bath Road's finest half-second for Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe.


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