The Talent Show Story

Revision as of 18:00, 13 August 2012

Synopsis

The Talent Show Story set itself a big task - to give the full explanation of how talent shows came to dominate Saturday nights. The titles trace a trajectory from Opportunity Knocks to The X Factor, as though the triumph of Little Mix is the culmination of everything John Logie Baird ever worked for. Victoria Wood narrated.

Each episode contained four individual stories, generally independent of each other, and showing a variety of theme and time. The brief summary of these segments:

Episode 1: Susan Boyle / Popstars / Marti Caine and Nina Myskow / Pop Idol '02
Episode 2: New Faces / Britain's Got Talent / Simon Cowell / Worst auditions
Episode 3: Hosts / Opportunity Knocks / Hughie Green / Bad performers
Episode 4: The X Factor / Lena Zavaroni / Child stars / New Faces '87
Episode 5: Judges / Pop Idol / Fame Academy / Dancers

Episode 1

The first programme told the story of Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent 2009. There was a brief clip of Boyle on Michael Barrymore's "My Kind of People" in 1995, and her unsuccessful audition for The X Factor. "It's the moment I live for," gushed Simon Cowell. Would that be the moment where the entire world saw Boyle on the internets, and the meteoric rise to fame took her by surprise? Or the moment when Dec's earpiece said, "Diversity"? Still, Susan Boyle's gone on to make some records, learn a few words of Chinese, and she's going to be present on telly for many years to come.

So, that's the success story. What of this past? The narration tells us that talent shows were big in the 1960s and 70s, became unpopular in the 1980s, and by the turn of the century was almost entirely relegated to niche channels. Then Nigel Lythgoe went to Australia, bought up the Popstars format, and sold it to ITV. Claudia Rosencrantz (head of ITV) said that the novelty was to see the manufacture of the band. Lythgoe had suggested Jonathan King for the panel, but Rosencrantz preferred Lythgoe himself. Simon Cowell turned down the opportunity to appear on the panel. Those judges were seated at the far end of the room from the door, just to provide five seconds of walk to raise the tension. Popstars produced their winning band, and completely over-promoted them. "You couldn't move without seeing Hearsay somewhere", recalls Kym Marsh; "it's inevitable the only way was down," said Danny Foster. ITV's house band lasted just eighteen months before splitting, allowing them to concentrate on projects like Top of the Klass with Myleene Klass.

Time's arrow continued to move backwards, with Nina Myskow revisiting the Birmingham Hippodrome of New Faces. She was surprised to be jeered by the audience, something encouraged by the producers. Kelly Fox, a former contestant, reckons that Myskow was being destructive and only looking to make a name for herself. Myskow recalls her banter with host Marti Caine, who dubbed her "Never Intentionally Nice to Anyone". Then time rewinds further, to the time in 1975 when Marti Caine faced Lenny Henry in the New Faces of that era. There are tributes to Caine, who died in 1995.

Joss Stone's moment on Star for a Night appears for no obvious reason, and then we relive the Pop Idol final of 2002. Gareth Gates tells us about his stammer, and Nicki Chapman says how she was smitten. "We've found a great story, we've found a star," recalls Simon Cowell. Will Young? Nicki says that he only went through because he auditioned at the end, and they needed more blokes in the next phase. The spat between Cowell and Young, about the quality of the latter's performance: "I thought he was obnoxious and full of himself. You don't like me, and I don't like you," says Cowell. Gareth Gates was The Anointed One, and Will Young the roadblock on Cowell's superhighway. Will had the popular backing, 4.6 million votes from the Great British Public. "I felt sick," says Cowell. "To this day, I still can't watch the final back."

Episode 2

We begin with the judging panel. New Faces came over from Australia, ITV's rival to Bruce Forsyth and the Generation Game. Unlike Opportunity Knocks, there was a panel to criticise the performances, and both Tony Hatch and Mickie Most wasted no opportunity to criticise. "The Hatchet Man" said that he was only being honest. Most of this segment is taken up by a clip reel - Showaddywaddy, Les Dennis, Roy Walker, Rod Hull, Marti Caine, Victoria Wood, Lenny Henry - there's rare footage of his debut from the Bob Monkhouse Archive.

Britain's Got Talent, then. Simon Cowell was watching Fame Academy, and thought that, actually, he'd rather like to see a performing dog. As one does when watching bad karaoke. There's unseen footage of the Britain's Got Talent pilot, with Paul O'Grady hosting, Piers and Simon joined by Fern Britton on the panel, and the audience made up of performers. ITV decided they didn't want it, but NBC reckoned they could make a go of this show. They did, and Cowell managed to sell it back to the UK. The gimmick of stopping an act in its tracks was borrowed from The Gong Show, and the piece ends with a diversion into those performing dogs, because young Cowell wants to sign a mutt playing an instrument.

Simon Cowell, a motor-racing fan from London, appeared on Sale of the Century in 1990. He'd subsequently become "the most powerful man on television", a claim disputed by Rupert Murdoch. "Simon's ego is stratospheric, it doesn't belong on the planet," says Piers Morgan, speaking from experience. We're treated to some of Cowell's record successes, like Five, Zig and Zag, Robson and Jerome, and his theory: if television stars can make records, then television can make stars who can make records. Within weeks of Cowell's debut on Pop Idol, they had a pantomime baddie, with high-wasted trousers. Pop Idol went Stateside, The X Factor and ... Got Talent followed. The zenith of his career: a twelve-minute hagiography on primetime ITV, and a 120-word blurb on it.

If the clip of Robson and Jerome in the previous section wasn't enough, we're now seeing the worst auditions. There's a suggestion that the New Faces producers put on something for the panel to attack each week. Should the auditions be televised? Nina Myskow thinks they've gone a bit far, the ...Got Talent and X Factor auditions in theatres are compared to Roman gladiatorial combats. But she'll laugh when it's on. Then there's people who give their comeback, verbal and physical. Edna Moore, the mother-in-law who told Simon Cowell to show some respect; and we end with Robert Unwin, who performed "Barbie girl" in falsetto.

Episode 3

A talent show needs a talent show host. Siobhan Greene, producer of Britain's Got Talent, said that the host needs to do more than read the autocue, citing the moment when Ant picked up a fire extinguisher and used it on a broken prop. The narration reckons that Ant and Dec re-wrote the host's job when they presented Pop Idol. Nigel Lythgoe invited them down to the auditions, so that they could familiarise themselves with the contestants, and found Ant and Dec were helping and hugging the contestants. Since then, every show has had someone backstage. Dermot O'Leary of The X Factor says it's like hosting a party on screen every week. Nigel Lythgoe says there's nothing wrong with the judges having an argument with the hosts, and Simon Cowell actually encouraged Dermot to be disagreeable. Which leads us into a recap of the spat between Patrick Kielty and Richard Park through the second series of Fame Academy. "It threatened to overshadow the show," claims Park. "No, he actually hates me," was the conclusion of Kielty. We should remember Fame Academy as the launchpad for the huge talents of Paris Campbell-Edwards, Alistair Griffin, and Alex Parks. But we only remember it for the clash of egos between Park and Kielty. A tremendous shame.

After the break, more footage of an end-of-the-pier show, with archive footage of Carroll Levis and his Discovery Show. Then to another Canadian host, Hughie Green and Opportunity Knocks. A staple of Monday nights - because Thames Television didn't broadcast over the weekend - OpKnox had contortionists, oom-pah bands, and Tony Holland the Musical Muscle Man. He flexed his biceps in time to music, and this won the show five weeks in a row. Tony built a career out of his act. Freddie Starr, Lena Zavaroni, Little and Large, Cannon and Ball, and Paul Daniels all achieved overnight success. There's also the story of Les Dawson, who was going to give up his comedy but was persuaded by his wife to audition for OpKnox. The rest is history, and it isn't shown. And then the clap-o-meter: was it just a man with a knitting needle at the back of the studio? No, producer Royston Mayoh demonstrates a wooden box actually analysing the sound coming out of the audience.

OpKnox was hosted by Hughie Green, who was born in London, had a brief career as a child actor in Hollywood, then moved to Canada where he served in the war. He attended every audition in person, flying from place to place in a light aeroplane. It was about the only place he was safe from the crowds of fans. Bobby Crush found Hughie to be avuncular and supportive of his acts, but saw at least one flare-up on the set every week. Green's producers recall that he knew what he wanted, and would stop at nothing to get it. Brian Tesler, head of light entertainment for Thames, recalls a doom-laden speech, apparently setting out Hughie's stall to take over from the Callaghan government. Green's eccentricities, and the closure of the clubs and theatres, combined to bring the curtain down on OpKnox in 1978. Green lived to see the revival under Bob Monkhouse in 1987, and died in 1997; since then, he's remembered mostly for his complicated private life.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, such as the man who hit himself over his head with a metal tea-tray, or the woman who believed her drivel was poetry. From Popstars: The Rivals, footage of The Cheeky Girls. "They'll be next week's fish and chips," said producer Nigel Hall, master of the instantly incorrect prediction. From The X Factor, there's Chico Slimani - "Not a great singer, but he's got a lot going for him," remembers Louis Walsh. " I wouldn't jump in the water with a live mike," says Ozzy Osbourne. From 2010, Wagner Fiuza-Carrhilo compares The X Factor to a soap opera, with Wagner there to entertain the country, which is why Louis chose songs Wagner couldn't sing. And then there's the 2009 dose of bonkers, John & Edward. "It's a tuneless talentless couple of muppets, but there's something compelling," says Neil Fox. "There's not very good," commented Gordon Brown, but whatever happened to him? "No-one had ever seen anything like us," recalls John. Or was it Edward? Ah, who cares!

Music

Candy Studios composed the theme and incidental music.

Feedback